Hi Scott,
I’m not sure if this will help, but it sounds like we are in similar situations ( keeping our hobby spending a secret from our wifeys 
)!!
I bought the entry level Steinberg CI 1 usb audio unit and everything works brilliantly for me, probably because the unit comes with Steinberg asio!
I am not a techie so I don’t know about soundcards etc.
Hope this helps,
Jim B