Good morning America!!
This just in:
A chicago-based musician is facing possible nervous break-down after a “V1 Patience By-pass” surgery. Doctors claim his rare condition might have been caused by NOT tapering off his medication while he definitely needed a higher doze. They also asserted that they had no idea the patient had attempted a self-induced by-pass before the operation, simply because there is no blood test indicating the amount of “Patience” in the patient, while they were “under the impression (as earlier indicated by the patient himself) that he was still using the originally prescribed doze” and that “they felt sorry for him”. A source who chose to remain anonymous (Curteye, who allegedly prescribed the medicine initially) says the patient never revisited him to control his doze of “Patience”. He further disclaimed any responsibility. More on this, later on the news…
On a related development, eye-witnesses say an angry-looking drugstore customer has attempted to increase his doze of “Patience” on his own discretion. Police took him to the hospital after smashing the windows of the “patience-related” drugs located in the rear section of the store. Witnesses say he was also using articulately “bad words” against one “Steinberg” company, based in Germany, Utah. The ER doctor claims he is suffering from high blood pressure probably caused by the “wrong” doze of “Patience”. Unconfirmed reports say this particular patient was not “patient” enough to receive a “timely” update from the aforementioned company. Investigations are underway to determine the relevance, while our reporters are trying to learn Japanese as fast as they can to contact Steinberg. The relationship between the drug “patience” and blood pressure is taken over by FBI and may result in the questioning of the American Foods and Drugs Administration, Association, Organization, whatever…
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